Go ahead, jump off the cliff

Since Blissdom Canada last year a lot has happened .  In the last twelve months I’ve learned that when you jump into something with both feet gravity hauls you down.  Quickly.  Well, fast, really.  Like really fast.

I am naturally risk-averse.  I am a perfectionist who does not tolerate ‘unknown’ and ‘unpredictable’.  I prefer safe (not necessarily easy) and knowing what’s coming around every corner.  And so I ask myself, even a year later, how the heck did I end up on this path?!?

I’m going to blame social media.  In a loving, affectionate, eye-rolling sort of way, because I don’t remember smacking my head in the last 18 months and that’s the only other reason I could surmise for such a dramatic ‘look at me, I’m brave’ about-face.

I have made a lot of decisions in the last year that are out of character for me.  After a decade of pretending I didn’t have a weight problem, which was ridiculous seeing as I was 80 pounds overweight and clearly in need of help, I joined five other Ottawa bloggers on Losing It In Ottawa to blog about my struggles with weight loss.  Fat girl pictures, inches, rolls, and all.  Even though I was deathly afraid of failing; of other people judging me; of being made fun of (can you tell my 14 year old self is still alive and well) I did it anyways.  Because I wanted to be a part of a group; I wanted support; I wanted to feel like I belonged.

After writing privately for three years I started this blog last July.  Until that point I was afraid to publish any of my musings because I knew not everyone would like what I wrote.  That I might be destined to be a mediocre writer.  And then I attended an Ottawa event, Blog Out Loud, and I listened to Ottawa writers read their blog posts out loud and I thought “I want to be a part of this”.  I wanted to be a part of the amazing Ottawa blogging community and I wanted to connect with people on the other side of my screen.

Last November I resigned from my part-time job in community mental health with no Plan B.  The decision was certainly not part of Plan A but I needed to do what was best for me and my family.  Plan B was to take some time and regroup.  Somehow, 14 days after resigning, I had a website, business cards, and a fledgling photography business.  It was part of Plan N not because I didn’t desperately (to the tips of my toes and core of my soul) want to do it but because I was afraid of failing.  Photography as a passion is one thing; hanging out your sign and calling yourself a ‘photographer’ is another.   I wanted to pursue my dream;  I wanted to have a job that allowed me to make the best use of all my skills (artistic, business, and otherwise); I wanted to hold onto the goosebumpy feeling I get when someone gasps when they see one of my photos.

Social media, irrespective of the platform, is about connecting with others.  I have spent the last year taking risks because I wanted to belong and feel connected to others.  Twitter, my blog, and my business, have provided me with the means to do just that.

If I hadn’t risked being made fun of or of failing, I wouldn’t have lost 50 pounds.  Or made 20 new friends.  Or run my first 5K race, my first 10K race, and my first half-marathon.  Or had an entire group of people I can turn to, at any time of day, when I’m struggling not to eat my feelings.

If I hadn’t risked not being good enough, of being excluded from a group of people I wanted so desperately to be a part of, I would never have replaced binge eating with binge blogging.  I wouldn’t have met my writing group. I I have made fantastic new friends; friends that I go on coffee dates with, to the gym with, to girls nights out with.  Friends I know I can count on to be there when I need them.

If I hadn’t risked the safety net of sticking with Plan A I wouldn’t have my own successful photography business. I wouldn’t be waking up everyday and getting to do what I love.  I wouldn’t have met all the wonderful families that I’ve photographed.  I wouldn’t feel like I was doing the right thing, for me, for the first time in a long time.

Like weight loss and blogging and entrepreneurship, coming to Blissdom Canada as a newcomer is a risky move.  There’s a possibility you might make a social gaffe, not find a friend to sit with at lunch, feel out of your depth: all of these are possibilities.  But the possibility that something might go wrong is worth taking the risk of making the choice to attend Blissdom Canada your best decision in 2011.

• Meet new people.  Go ahead, walk up to someone (wearing a Blissdom Canada badge of course!) and introduce yourself.  Tell them its your first time here; tell them about your blog or business; ask them a question.  If the conversation stalls, find another badge-wearing conference attendee.  Chances are, because the Blissdom Canada attendees are AWESOME, you will end up going for coffee down the block along with a handful of other new friends.  Introduce yourself to someone new at least every hour, if not more often.  Make it a game to see how many business cards you can collect.  Tweet the people you’ve met; comment on their blogs; the very slight chance that you might be rejected is worth the fabulous friendships you’re going to make.
• Join another tribe: Sure you’re a newbie to Blissdom but you’re also a whole lot more than a newcomer.  A writer?  A food blogger?  A business person?  A mother?  During breaks and lunch time scour the room for like-minded people, who you haven’t already met, and join their tribe.  See an empty chair: it’s begging for you to sit down in it.  Not comfortable jumping into a conversation?  That’s okay, just sit and listen until you’re ready to join in.
• It’s okay to be a fan: The great thing about social media is that it levels the playing field.  There will be speakers and attendees that are well-known and easily recognized but at Blissdom Canada they’re just part of the big awesome Canadian social media tribe.  Is there a blogger or speaker that you admire?  Then take your first opportunity to introduce yourself.  Let them know you like their writing, blog, book, business and why you wanted to meet them.  Thank them for the contribution you feel they’ve made to the conference.  I will be making my way over to meet Gail Vaz-Oxlade whose debt-free strategies are genius and who inspires me to keep my family on the ‘no consumer debt’ straight-and-narrow.
• Follow your own path: There will be a lot of buzz about the different sessions and your new friends might all be heading in different directions.  Choose your sessions based on what you really want to know, not based on where the people you know are headed.  Blissdom Canada is your opportunity to improve your social media know-how and you can only do that if you make it to the sessions that really matter to you.  Plus it’s a great opportunity to find yet another table of unknown conference attendees and make new friends.
• But I never wear costumes: Neither do I.  At Halloween the best I usually come up with is cat whiskers and some faux ears but last year I went to the main Blissdom event in a pink fairy costume.  I have no idea why I’m holding a glass of wine and a gun since I don’t drink or shoot (guns).  Not sure what to wear? Then ask everyone you know for suggestions (a little preliminary crowd-sourcing via Twitter or Facebook) and pick the costume that you feel best represents who you are, what you’ll have the most fun wearing, or what you think will be a great conversation starter.  EVERYONE dresses up so you will not show up to the ballroom and be the only one there in a Tigger costume.

Being nervous about not fitting in, not meeting new friends, or feeling out of place are all valid concerns.  But for those reasons I ask that when you come to Blissdom and you think about doing something, make a mental note of whether or not it makes you nervous or uncomfortable.  If you feel nervous or uncomfortable THEN DO IT. The risks are worth the rewards, I promise!

Tagged as: my points of view, my points of view blog