To be honest this is how I feel about health, fitness, and weight loss right now:
Ambivalent. Uninterested. Negative. Overwhelmed. Frustrated.
BUT I also hate seeing this in the mirror:
Two years ago I started a year long weight loss journey with a group blog, Losing it in Ottawa. This is me in August 2010:
And a year later and 52 pounds lighter in August 2011:
Curious about my journey? Here’s my first post and my one year anniversary post. A month after that photo was taken I peed on a stick and found out I was expecting our third child. A week after running my first half marathon I’d like to add! Nine months later here I am on the day he was born (May 2012):
He was worth of every stretch mark and extra pound.
I don’t know what I weighed the day he was born but I do know I’m 25 pounds heavier than I was when I started Losing It two years ago and that is hard to accept. In fact it grosses me out and disappoints me.
So here I am.
So how did I go so far off the rails when I was pregnant, especially after all the healthy habits I’d developed?
- 24/7 miserable nausea: Despite a prescription for Diclectin I felt disgusting all day, everyday. I ate whatever made me feel better and whatever didn’t make me gag.
- Exhaustion: Taking Diclection made me unbelievably drowsy as did taking care of my two boys and running my own business. September to December is also the busiest time of year for a lot of photographers (holiday photos) and I worked 30-40 hours a week with only part-time child care. Knowing I wouldn’t be eligible for maternity leave because I’m self-employed also made me reluctant to turn down any work that came my way. Plus there’s the fact that I LOVE what I do.
- Avoidance: When I binge and over eat my panic attacks and symptoms of anxiety are almost non existent. In fact I don’t even remember the last time I had a panic attack. I have a lot of strategies to deal with my anxiety but the reality is that food works best.
- External stress: You can’t control how other people behave only your own reactions (or so they say). Unfortunately the last three months of my pregnancy were filled with a lot of emotional circumstances that I couldn’t control and that I had trouble accepting and dealing with. I just needed to survive.
I don’t have an elaborate plan like last time. The only reason I’m throwing this post out into the universe is in hopes that the wonderful people who supported me last time are still around AND the two year anniversary of my journey with Losing It seemed like as good a time as any to start again.
Here are my goals:
1. Track every single piece of food that passes me lips. I’m using My Fitness Pal (username eisangel3 if you want to join me), which has apps for my iPhone and iPad (aka no excuses)
2. Using my FitBit get to 10,000 steps a day. It also connects to My Fitness Pal but I haven’t figured out the technicalities yet (read: the dusty FitBit is currently still charging)
3. Resolve my left foot issues. Since baby duck was born I’ve been having a lot of problems with my foot; my RMT suspects it’s plantar fasciitis. Whatever it is it hurts like an SOB and makes walking painful and difficult at time. I need to be able to walk before I can run again.
4. Since running is out of the question (and any type of weight-bearing exercise) for right now I want to get into the pool and start swimming laps or taking aquafit classes. Three times a week seems insanely impossible right now so that’s what I’m going to aim for.
So who wants to join me?